Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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