please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize