Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize