my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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