You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My vagina just recognized that song.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
