i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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