something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
