and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
