i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
