just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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