how do flat chested girls get laid?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
