I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
