so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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