I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
