i think my tv is drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
His nipple licking is glorious
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