Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
