I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
