I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize