Sponge bath it is.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
