Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
