I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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