she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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