That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize