Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
