i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
