I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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