Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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