You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
