margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
