just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
