Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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