Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
