A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
