i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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