Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
