The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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