wakey wakey hands off snakey
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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