I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
