I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
