Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
