How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
