i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
