Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I supernannyed him into submission
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
