its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
either way he was missing a nipple.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
