elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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