I want to have your abortion
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
