Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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