Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
