I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize