Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
