Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
