she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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