so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
