Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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