You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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