using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
