It was confusing and full of hummus
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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