Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
